oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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