i just had sex bonerless
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
