He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize