meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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