Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
