U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I could have mohawked her pubes.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
