4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
