fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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