I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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