I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
