what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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