Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You can't special order awesome
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
