Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
