I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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