She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
