He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
