isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
