Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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