And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
