Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
