Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
