Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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