i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
