He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
