I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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