So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
