i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
