Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Pants are for mortals
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
