i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize