Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Randomize