North Korea, Best Korea!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
