Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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