i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
