He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think your dad took our porno
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
