He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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