So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
