i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
