we're blogging at a bar
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
