He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
