But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
