i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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