so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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