Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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