it's like iHOP with fire
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
