Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
