Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
