So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize