uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
