He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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