My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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