I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My ass is underappreciated
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
