You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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