I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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