Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
