Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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