And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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