does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
