she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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