i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
