A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
