the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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