i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
