school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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