she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
