Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
