That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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