yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
