Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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