the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
did i walk over a car last night?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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