Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
