It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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