Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
