i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
